Went to the court today and they approved our adoption!!! Then a 10 day waiting period and then one final week in the "U" and Stas will be ours!!!
At the orhpanage hanging out waiting for our train tonight. We are told we have a first class ticket but we won't find out if it is a new train or an old train like we had before. We'll post later tonight... Love Love
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Almost here...
FYI...Dave is a blog hog (!!!)...he pretends to be working and next thing I know, he has written the blog-then I have to stay up for hours editing (not really but I like to pretend!!!) Can you tell we have spent 3 weeks together?!!!
In all truth-we are doing remarkably well together...Thankfully, our kids skype us a couple times a day so we have someone (other than each other) to speak English to.
I have finally stopped smiling today...meaning that I am now trying to adapt to their culture, just in time to travel home. As we all know, the south, and especially Roanoke Va, is incredibly friendly and polite. Here, not so much. So, instead of creeping all these Ukrainians out, I have become 1 of them on the streets-no "excuse me's", no warm smiles, just a rude sense of getting to our destination! (I know it is a cultural thing-but it drives me nuts!)
Today was our final day at the orphnage and we called it a celebration day. As always, we spent the day with lots of hugs and friendly hellos.
We had wanted to take out our 6 or 7 favorite boys but there was a security breach earlier and we were only allowed to take one plus Stas. Stas wanted his favorite psuedo big brother Illya to go and we were thrilled with that decision. We told them they could have anything they wanted... pizza, ice cream, candy... today is your day to celebrate. Illya was a good choice because he speaks pretty good English and his American family is coming in September to take him to America, plus we've really grown to love this incredible young man.
Apparently, these boys are hungry! Stas loves these caviar crepes (poor thing, american Mama won't be carrying on that tradition), so he had 2 of those, they split 2 pizzas, both had double helpings of ice cream and coca colas and sprites!! On the way back to the orphanage, we bought snickers, gum, chips and water for their friends. We SO take for granted the awesome food we have available in our country. Truly, even the clean, bottled water is a treat for them, and of course the coveted Snickers bar that has made us feel like superstars here.
Stas continues to be incredibly delightful...the relief of making his decision shows in his very big smile, and his affection for us. He always wants to skype the kids, and although all he can say is, "Hi Kayla, Hi Ashley, Hi George...I love you,", it appears he just thrives in their mere presence...even if it is on a computer screen.
Tomorrow, we will finally get to appear in court. This is what we have been waiting for. Stas will go with us, and state to the judge that he desires to be adopted by us. We will complete more paperwork at the orphanage, have a party with the kids and give our final goodbyes-then, we will return home for the 10 day waiting period. Beginning Weds evening, we will do the whole trains, planes and automobiles-to arrive home Friday night. Ahhhh-can't wait. Back in a week to complete the paperwork necessary to get Stas back to America with us.
Can't begin to thank you all for your prayers and support. It has certainly carried us through :)
In all truth-we are doing remarkably well together...Thankfully, our kids skype us a couple times a day so we have someone (other than each other) to speak English to.
I have finally stopped smiling today...meaning that I am now trying to adapt to their culture, just in time to travel home. As we all know, the south, and especially Roanoke Va, is incredibly friendly and polite. Here, not so much. So, instead of creeping all these Ukrainians out, I have become 1 of them on the streets-no "excuse me's", no warm smiles, just a rude sense of getting to our destination! (I know it is a cultural thing-but it drives me nuts!)
Today was our final day at the orphnage and we called it a celebration day. As always, we spent the day with lots of hugs and friendly hellos.
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| Kola, Stas and Pasha - all roommates |
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| Our three older boys plus Stas and Vova |
We had wanted to take out our 6 or 7 favorite boys but there was a security breach earlier and we were only allowed to take one plus Stas. Stas wanted his favorite psuedo big brother Illya to go and we were thrilled with that decision. We told them they could have anything they wanted... pizza, ice cream, candy... today is your day to celebrate. Illya was a good choice because he speaks pretty good English and his American family is coming in September to take him to America, plus we've really grown to love this incredible young man.
Apparently, these boys are hungry! Stas loves these caviar crepes (poor thing, american Mama won't be carrying on that tradition), so he had 2 of those, they split 2 pizzas, both had double helpings of ice cream and coca colas and sprites!! On the way back to the orphanage, we bought snickers, gum, chips and water for their friends. We SO take for granted the awesome food we have available in our country. Truly, even the clean, bottled water is a treat for them, and of course the coveted Snickers bar that has made us feel like superstars here.
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| Stas eating a caviar crepe... truley discusting... I can't wait until he tries our pancakes |
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| Illya and Stas |
Stas continues to be incredibly delightful...the relief of making his decision shows in his very big smile, and his affection for us. He always wants to skype the kids, and although all he can say is, "Hi Kayla, Hi Ashley, Hi George...I love you,", it appears he just thrives in their mere presence...even if it is on a computer screen.
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| Sugar buzz working well... 2 pizzas, 2 caviar crepes, 2 cokes, ice cream, snickers and a bag of chips... |
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| before sugar buzz... |
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| after sugar buzz... |
Tomorrow, we will finally get to appear in court. This is what we have been waiting for. Stas will go with us, and state to the judge that he desires to be adopted by us. We will complete more paperwork at the orphanage, have a party with the kids and give our final goodbyes-then, we will return home for the 10 day waiting period. Beginning Weds evening, we will do the whole trains, planes and automobiles-to arrive home Friday night. Ahhhh-can't wait. Back in a week to complete the paperwork necessary to get Stas back to America with us.
Can't begin to thank you all for your prayers and support. It has certainly carried us through :)
Monday, August 29, 2011
The day after..
What an emotional day yesterday... we heard from so many of you about this blog and our meeting with the grandparents. We feel, and truly appreciate all of your prayers. Today, we woke up completely drained and felt all the weight of grandma's loss. We had a hard time motivating ourselves to get over to the orphanage to see all the kids...
As soon as we arrived, we sensed a light-heartedness in Stas: A playfulness and joy we had not completely sensed earlier. Stas was especially happy to see us! Stas had previously been carrying the burden of our meeting with the grandparents. One thing we didn't write about yesterday was that while we were up in Stas's room just before the meeting, the interpretor asked Stas if he was sure about his decision to come to America. He told her that he was sure but he was afraid to tell grandma because he knew it was going to hurt her. Now that grandma had accepted it... Stas was relieved and ready to go.
We brought the laptop into the orphanage today so Stas could skype with Ashley and Kayla...
. Stas certainly lightened our spirits today. We were on the playground and I looked at Stas's toes and they had orange nail polish on them... I said Stas!!! what happened? He said "friends" after I fell asleep... I tried to get a picture to send to Kay, Ash and George but he wouldn't look at the camera...
All in all, a good day after a very emotional one the day before. We will be taking some kids to lunch again tomorrow, then we have court Weds at 2pm. This is where Stas will stand up in front of the Judge and say that he does want to be adopted by us. Then we will be back to the orph for a party and our chance to say goodbyes to all the kids...this will not be easy... The good news, however, is that we can begin our 2-day journey home to check in on Kayla, Ashley and George, who I must say, our the greatest kids in the world! :)
As soon as we arrived, we sensed a light-heartedness in Stas: A playfulness and joy we had not completely sensed earlier. Stas was especially happy to see us! Stas had previously been carrying the burden of our meeting with the grandparents. One thing we didn't write about yesterday was that while we were up in Stas's room just before the meeting, the interpretor asked Stas if he was sure about his decision to come to America. He told her that he was sure but he was afraid to tell grandma because he knew it was going to hurt her. Now that grandma had accepted it... Stas was relieved and ready to go.
We brought the laptop into the orphanage today so Stas could skype with Ashley and Kayla...
We tend to draw a crowd with all the kids looking at Stas' new sisters
. Stas certainly lightened our spirits today. We were on the playground and I looked at Stas's toes and they had orange nail polish on them... I said Stas!!! what happened? He said "friends" after I fell asleep... I tried to get a picture to send to Kay, Ash and George but he wouldn't look at the camera...
like any good mother, I was armed w/ polish remover for my "son" !!
All in all, a good day after a very emotional one the day before. We will be taking some kids to lunch again tomorrow, then we have court Weds at 2pm. This is where Stas will stand up in front of the Judge and say that he does want to be adopted by us. Then we will be back to the orph for a party and our chance to say goodbyes to all the kids...this will not be easy... The good news, however, is that we can begin our 2-day journey home to check in on Kayla, Ashley and George, who I must say, our the greatest kids in the world! :)
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| A happy boy... |
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Meet The Grandparents - A sad day...
We woke to a phone call from our intrepretor. The grandparents had been to the orphanage at 8 am already and tried to get Stas to go on a trip w/ them. Thankfully, the director did not allow it. We headed to the orphanage- assuming the worst. Our girl, Tonya told us that grandma did not understand why we would want another child. There is some crazy talk about Americans wanting body parts for their own children and she was concerned that we would disappear and they would never get to communicate w/ Stas again.
Finally, we met with the grandparents and slowly but surely realized that they aren't mean or evil, just sad to see their Stas go. Grandma was crying off and on thru the afternoon, constantly reaching out to Stas for a hug and kiss. Grandfather kept his emotions inside-but outwardly-you could tell his heart was broken. Here is the picture of the family with sister, Ilena.
This picture says it all... This is what we learned today from the Grandparents about Stas' family.
Mom was going to the bank to get a 100 grevna check cashed (worth $12) and someone robbed her and hit her on the head. She died later from that attack. Stas's sister, Ilena ,who was 3 at the time, witnessed this attack. Stas's dad died of a heart attack when he was 40 years old. The grandparents stepped in and tried to take care of them but at age 68 (4 years ago), realized that they could only take care of one. Assuming Stas would be stronger and tougher than the little sister, they put Stas in the orphanage and kept Ilena. The grandpa knows first hand how tough an orphanage is as he grew up in the same orphanage Stas is in.
Grandma described how hard it was to lose her son and now to be losing Stas, who she says looks exactly like his dad. We then had some frank conversations about what would happen if they died and we assured them that we would come back for Ilena. They slowly warmed up to us as they could see the emotions that overwhelmed us as we learned how hard their life had been. They finally gave into the reality that Stas's life was going to be better in America than in the orphanage, and Stas was holding firm that this also was his desire to go with us- but they were still devasted to see him go. They asked a little more about the timing of the process and they wanted us to come to their house and have dinner one last time before we went back to America. We agreed. They then wanted to take us to the grave site of Stas' father one last time and say the final goodbyes and we also agreed to that as well. The grandfather took my hand firmly, looked me in the eye and said "I want your word that you will do this" I agreed to his terms. The tears began to flow...
One more thing about grandpa - he was a driver during the Chernobyl incident. He would drive in, pull people out and drive them to safety. He feels he's been exposed to radiation and realzes he may not have long to live. He has had 2 heart attacks and 1 stroke. His fears and emotions were very real and he wanted to know if I was a christian and if I would raise Stas to be a christian as well. I looked him in the eye and assured him that I would.
We went to lunch together and got to know them a little better. They were very concerned Stas would lose touch with his sister and his heritage. We tried to explain to them about skype, and reassured them that we would keep in touch via email and letters. They asked if we could come back to visit in a couple years and we said, God-willing-we will!! Not just to see them, but to also advocate and check on the kids we have loved- that have been forever imprinted on our hearts. His sister, from afar-will be treated like our own...only God knows the plans He has for her in our family...
Stas and Ilena are two years apart and so, so similar. Our hearts broke as Stas held his sister's hand throughout the day and we realized, it maybe a long time before he sees her again.
We are emotionally spent right now... certainly the hardest day we've had. Thanks for the prayers today... we so greatly needed and felt them throughout the day.
Dave & Darc
Finally, we met with the grandparents and slowly but surely realized that they aren't mean or evil, just sad to see their Stas go. Grandma was crying off and on thru the afternoon, constantly reaching out to Stas for a hug and kiss. Grandfather kept his emotions inside-but outwardly-you could tell his heart was broken. Here is the picture of the family with sister, Ilena.
This picture says it all... This is what we learned today from the Grandparents about Stas' family.
Mom was going to the bank to get a 100 grevna check cashed (worth $12) and someone robbed her and hit her on the head. She died later from that attack. Stas's sister, Ilena ,who was 3 at the time, witnessed this attack. Stas's dad died of a heart attack when he was 40 years old. The grandparents stepped in and tried to take care of them but at age 68 (4 years ago), realized that they could only take care of one. Assuming Stas would be stronger and tougher than the little sister, they put Stas in the orphanage and kept Ilena. The grandpa knows first hand how tough an orphanage is as he grew up in the same orphanage Stas is in.
Grandma described how hard it was to lose her son and now to be losing Stas, who she says looks exactly like his dad. We then had some frank conversations about what would happen if they died and we assured them that we would come back for Ilena. They slowly warmed up to us as they could see the emotions that overwhelmed us as we learned how hard their life had been. They finally gave into the reality that Stas's life was going to be better in America than in the orphanage, and Stas was holding firm that this also was his desire to go with us- but they were still devasted to see him go. They asked a little more about the timing of the process and they wanted us to come to their house and have dinner one last time before we went back to America. We agreed. They then wanted to take us to the grave site of Stas' father one last time and say the final goodbyes and we also agreed to that as well. The grandfather took my hand firmly, looked me in the eye and said "I want your word that you will do this" I agreed to his terms. The tears began to flow...
One more thing about grandpa - he was a driver during the Chernobyl incident. He would drive in, pull people out and drive them to safety. He feels he's been exposed to radiation and realzes he may not have long to live. He has had 2 heart attacks and 1 stroke. His fears and emotions were very real and he wanted to know if I was a christian and if I would raise Stas to be a christian as well. I looked him in the eye and assured him that I would.
We went to lunch together and got to know them a little better. They were very concerned Stas would lose touch with his sister and his heritage. We tried to explain to them about skype, and reassured them that we would keep in touch via email and letters. They asked if we could come back to visit in a couple years and we said, God-willing-we will!! Not just to see them, but to also advocate and check on the kids we have loved- that have been forever imprinted on our hearts. His sister, from afar-will be treated like our own...only God knows the plans He has for her in our family...
Stas and Ilena are two years apart and so, so similar. Our hearts broke as Stas held his sister's hand throughout the day and we realized, it maybe a long time before he sees her again.
We are emotionally spent right now... certainly the hardest day we've had. Thanks for the prayers today... we so greatly needed and felt them throughout the day.
Dave & Darc
Sunday morning
It's noon here in Kherson and we leave for the orphanage in 30 minutes. We recieved a call from Tonya this morning saying grandma showed up at 8:00 am and will be back at noon and they wanted us at the orphanage at 12:30.
We spent the morning on the internet on the Bethel Church betherl.tv watching, listening and praying. It's 5:00 am back home, so we do ask when our freinds and family wake up back in the states, to say a quick prayer for us and Stas. We ask that grandma will accept us and bless the adoption.
We are also hoping to be able to skype from the orphanage today so Stas can see Kay, Ash and George. We'll send an update as soon as we can. Love to all...
We spent the morning on the internet on the Bethel Church betherl.tv watching, listening and praying. It's 5:00 am back home, so we do ask when our freinds and family wake up back in the states, to say a quick prayer for us and Stas. We ask that grandma will accept us and bless the adoption.
We are also hoping to be able to skype from the orphanage today so Stas can see Kay, Ash and George. We'll send an update as soon as we can. Love to all...
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Time for a little prayer...
Before I begin, please know that we are oddly at peace with this new bump in the road. "God is good all the time; all the time, God is good." this was told to us by one of the older orphan boys, Roberto, today...
As with any good fairy tale, there seems to come a time for a villan...today, out of nowhere, Grandma raised a great oppossition. She called the orphanage to say that she would be taking Stas on a trip until the 1st of Sept. Fortunately, we had God and all his forces on our side...The director of the orphanage said that he liked "Stas's American parents very much." His caretaker and the assistant to the director called Stas in and told him that although Grandma wants to all the sudden be a part of his life-that the parents in America far offered him the best care and opportunity. Stas will ultimately have to make a simple choice his american family or unattentive grandma... still a tough choice for an 11 year old boy. We are very fortunate to be working w/ THIS orphanage-not many orphanages would support us in this way.
I will say, that it was a time of great stress and tension, as all the Russian speaking people raised their voices and expressed their feelings...many closed door meetings, our intrepretor calling grandma, our higher ups, etc. (Russians always sound assertive in their normal conversations, so to see things "heated" w/out knowing what they were saying was certainly alarming!!)
We are heading to the orphanage all day tomorow. Grandma should be appearing. Sadly, the bulk of the decision will lie on our just turned 11, sweet boy, Stas. Facing Grandma, who is also raising Stas's sister, he must confront her and say he wants to go to America. Today, he said it without hesitation. We also have one of Dave's followers in the orphangae, Elli (the older boy) also telling him to go to America.
This is where we certainly seek your prayers. God's will...We just pray that God would make it very clear to Stas that he was always born to be our son...although his very sad circumstances has taken him here, that it is God's desire for him to be with us...
We covet your prayers as we rest in His will ...
with so much love and appreciation-
darcy and dave
As with any good fairy tale, there seems to come a time for a villan...today, out of nowhere, Grandma raised a great oppossition. She called the orphanage to say that she would be taking Stas on a trip until the 1st of Sept. Fortunately, we had God and all his forces on our side...The director of the orphanage said that he liked "Stas's American parents very much." His caretaker and the assistant to the director called Stas in and told him that although Grandma wants to all the sudden be a part of his life-that the parents in America far offered him the best care and opportunity. Stas will ultimately have to make a simple choice his american family or unattentive grandma... still a tough choice for an 11 year old boy. We are very fortunate to be working w/ THIS orphanage-not many orphanages would support us in this way.
I will say, that it was a time of great stress and tension, as all the Russian speaking people raised their voices and expressed their feelings...many closed door meetings, our intrepretor calling grandma, our higher ups, etc. (Russians always sound assertive in their normal conversations, so to see things "heated" w/out knowing what they were saying was certainly alarming!!)
We are heading to the orphanage all day tomorow. Grandma should be appearing. Sadly, the bulk of the decision will lie on our just turned 11, sweet boy, Stas. Facing Grandma, who is also raising Stas's sister, he must confront her and say he wants to go to America. Today, he said it without hesitation. We also have one of Dave's followers in the orphangae, Elli (the older boy) also telling him to go to America.
This is where we certainly seek your prayers. God's will...We just pray that God would make it very clear to Stas that he was always born to be our son...although his very sad circumstances has taken him here, that it is God's desire for him to be with us...
We covet your prayers as we rest in His will ...
with so much love and appreciation-
darcy and dave
Friday, August 26, 2011
Last day at sea camp
We checked out of the hotel in Skadovsk today. Tonya picked us up in her car with her dad to take us to the camp and eventually back to Khersen. Tonya is just learning to drive and her dad is teaching her bringing back fond memories of teaching Ash and Kay how to drive. Her dad is a retired helicopter pilot and at age 70 was doing pullups on the beach with us. Took us 2 1/2 hours to get back to Kherson compared to the 1 1/2 hour drive with the crazy driver.
Today was almost a sad day because everyone was leaving to go back to school and leaving the sea. Most of the afternoon, we got to spend some quality time with our favorite boys...
While we were sitting on the beach, hanging out, the older boys told me they went to church every Sunday. Eli likes American church better and said church here is an old guy reading a bunch of stuff and it was boring... which I'm guessing is the Orthodox Church here. Tonya told us there is also a Presbyterian Church here that tries to get the teenagers involved more and that they went to that church as well. These three older boys certainly exhibited God's love while we were there and we were truely impressed with them.
Darcy and I were hoping that these three older boys would make it to America and it would appear that Eli will but not sure about Roberto and Kola. Eli tried to re-assure us that it was ok. He told us "don't worry about us, we are happy here." And they are happy there, but they are unaware of what life will be like once they leave the comforts of the orphanage.
As we were walking out to our car, Eli said something to Stas in Ukraine and then Stas came up to Darc and said "I love you mama." We looked at Eli and asked him if he told Stas to do that and Eli shyfully admitted yes.
Today was almost a sad day because everyone was leaving to go back to school and leaving the sea. Most of the afternoon, we got to spend some quality time with our favorite boys...
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| This turned out to be our group of boys we felt closest to. My three soccer guys on the left and the three soon to be americans on the right. Eli is the the leader with out a doubt and everyone looks up to him. |
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| A walk to the beach |
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| We got Stas a little snorkle kit... he loved it and wouldn't take it off |
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| Vova with a jelly fish... |
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| Vova liked the snorkling too but it didn't work as well on the beach |
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| Not sure if this was a final goodbye but it did feel like it.. |
As we were walking out to our car, Eli said something to Stas in Ukraine and then Stas came up to Darc and said "I love you mama." We looked at Eli and asked him if he told Stas to do that and Eli shyfully admitted yes.
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